January 27, 2008

Langlands Stars in Ice Capades

Ben United 4 Richmond Pioneers 4 (HT 2-0)
(Pioneers: Langlands 3, Kushnir)

With most of the Lower Mainland covered in snow, Ben United and Richmond Pioneers thought they were the lucky ones able to get a game in. Although free of snow, the playing surface at Blundell Park was frozen solid, making it treacherous and dangerous for all. In reality, the game should not have been played, but insanity prevailed and the game got underway.

Not surprisingly, the play was very tentative as players from both teams moved very gingerly on the icy surface. With most of the early play in the United end, the Pioneers were the first to get a sniff at goal, when Danny Lazar shot just wide.

The game bore little resemblance to soccer as we know it, with guys wiping out left right and centre. Although a couple of players wore turf shoes and seemed to have at least some traction, for the most part crampons would have been the ideal footwear choice.

Ben United opened the scoring following a defensive mix up between Pioneer goalie Gary Byrne and full back Dennis Luk, both opting to be spectators as the opposition forward nipped in to score, closely followed by a barrage of expletives from Byrne.

The goal seemed to lift the spirits of United, and they added a second before the break.

The conditions also led to some crazy bounces of the ball, and early in the second half United had a comical bounce go their way, ending in a third goal for the home team (well, technically speaking).

The Pioneers pulled one back when a Graham Mason pass found Jim Langlands in front of goal, who turned and teased the defence before poking the ball into the net. Within 15 seconds of the game restarting, the Pioneers scored again. Evgeni Kushnir chased the ball down, beat a couple of defenders and successfully stayed on his feet as he went around the diving keeper, tapping into the empty net with his left foot, a great individual effort to make it 3-2.

In the second half the Ben United team had radically changed, as more and more of the players from their over 40 team arrived at the park and got into the game. Some of them looked so young they could barely grow facial hair. However, the frozen conditions negated any advantages they may have had over their much older opponents. But just as the Pioneers were pushing for the tying goal, Ben United got a fourth, again, the Pioneer defenders were slip sliding all over the place.

As the game went on the Pioneers game plan was simply to get the ball to Jim Langlands, who was in inspired form. He must have been wearing curling shoes or something, running around the field with reckless abandon. It was therefore no surprise when Langlands scored his second of the game, beating the United keeper to the ball to reduce the deficit to 4-3.

Within only minutes left on the clock, Langlands was crudely brought down in the penalty area for an obvious penalty. Obvious to everyone but referee Mike 'Hollywood' Holden that was, who inexplicably waved play on. Even allowing for the abysmal quality of the refereeing in the O-50 division—of which Holden is the czar—it was a mystifying call. It brought to mind a quote from the ex-Manchester United manager, Ron Atkinson, who once said in a post game interview, "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that useless prat."

But Langlands was not to be denied. With Jim Fitzgerald the provider, Langlands completed his hat-trick, scoring the tying goal with the very last kick of the game.

Back to home page